"This is your life. Are you who you want to be?
Is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger
And you had everything to lose?"
I'd forgotten. I'd forgotten - again - that I decide how my life goes. What I do, where I go, what I think about, how I feel. People constantly lean on you with their expectations, and I'm a sucker for it. Sometimes I even give in to expectations people don't even have or express! Or I just go with the flow of life, look back and wish I'd done those things I excitedly visualised but gave up on when it didn't happen like I'd expected. I felt a great surge of freedom to remember that I have the power to choose my destiny.
And as I talked to Dan on the way home, I was heartened to be able to say honestly, 'Yes, yes it is. I'm doing the things I thought heroic in 'high school'. I couldn't imagine then what it would feel like, but I still think I was spot on.' I feel like smirking whenever I tell someone 'what I do', thinking, 'I'm actually doing this!'
Saturday, 19 June 2010
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